1. Spinning Boris (2003)

    Total Goldblum Rating: 9/10

    Jeff Goldblum, along with Liev Schreiber and some other guy, helps Boris Yeltsin get reelected.

    Goldblum presence: 9/10

    He gets top billing in this Showtime Original Movie, and only rarely do we see Liev Schreiber and that other guy without him.

    Goldblum hotness: 9/10

    He is shirtless for approximately 40% of this movie. There is absolutely zero reason for this. And when they go into the Russian baths, Liev Schrieber and that other guy wrap multiple towels around themselves—but not Goldblum; he slings a single towel low around his hips as if to say, “Is this the smallest towel you have?”

    Goldbluminess: 8/10

    A fear of assassination by the Russian government affords ample opportunity for Crazy Eyes and Rapid Monologuing, and even Yeltsin’s daughter gets to sample a touch of the Sexy Flippance. Unfortunately, there are no pianos in Russia.