Framed (1990)
Total Goldblum Rating: 7/10
In this made-for-TV movie, Jeff Goldblum is an art forger whose ladyfriend/partner may or may not have set him up to take the fall for a caper gone wrong. Then it’s a big Two Years Later and Can We Trust Her.
Goldblum presence: 8/10
Although he’s certainly the protagonist, he’s not constantly on camera. Sometimes we watch the love interest/maybe-villainess or the Quirky Best Friend. (Side note: in this movie, Jeff Goldblum has a Quirky Best Friend. He normally is the Quirky Best Friend. In this movie, there’s a character quirkier than Jeff Goldblum. It’s shocking.)
Goldblum hotness: 6/10
There’s sexy time, and he isn’t afraid to hang out shirtless (hooray). But you might as well forget that, as this movie features what is, without a doubt, the worst Goldblum hair to date (and that includes the blue fur in Earth Girls Are Easy) (I’m not kidding). It’s possible he’s meant to look artistic—but he just looks depressing.
Goldbluminess: 8/10
Sexy-Flippant with Crazy Eyes and Floating Hands, plus Rambling Dialogue. There’s a chase scene that he’s quite tall in. However, the movie got it wrong: Jeff Goldblum doesn’t paint; he plays the piano.
