The Big Chill (1983)
Total Goldblum Rating: 6/10
Jeff Goldblum is one of several disillusioned boomers who, with the aid of a stellar soundtrack, must come to grips with the sudden death of a friend. It’s your parents’ Breakfast Club.
Goldblum Presence: 7/10
It’s an ensemble movie, so while he’s not the focus, he’s certainly given as much attention as anyone else (though perhaps less sympathy).
Goldblum Hotness: 5/10
Everyone—even the guy with severe erectile dysfunction—manages to get with a lady. Except Jeff Goldblum. Because he is a total creepout. He spends the whole damn movie trying to score with somebody—anybody—and is (so creepily) unsuccessful. Somehow it’s worse than the dog fetish.
Goldbluminess: 7/10
There’s one fantastic scene that has him pontificating, so we get excellent floating hands and rapid monologuing. He’s sporty at one point, which is odd, but it demonstrates how very tall he is, so it’s OK. No sexy-flippant and no piano, unfortunately. (This is presumably why he doesn’t get any ladies.)
