Watching Every Jeff Goldblum Movie

Vibes (1988)

Total Goldblum rating: 9/10

Jeff Goldblum, a psychometrist, teams up with fellow psychic Cyndi Lauper to fight a mystical force in Ecuador. And to find love.

Goldblum presence: 9/10

About as much Goldblum as you can have without calling the movie Goldblum.

Goldblum hotness: 9/10

No naked, but lots of running around sweaty in an unbuttoned shirt. Plus sexy time with Cyndi Lauper.

Goldbluminess: 9/10

So much Sexy-Flippant. So much Crazy Eyes. And he’s so much taller than Cyndi Lauper.

Adam Resurrected (2009)

Total Goldblum rating: 7/10

Jeff Goldblum plays a psychic Holocaust survivor with a dog fetish. It’s a drama.

Goldblum presence: 10/10 

He’s the title character and protagonist and is in every scene.

Goldblum hotness: 7/10

He has some sexy time, but it’s marred by the aforementioned dog fetish. There’s a brief ass-flash, and if that wasn’t a body double, then considering this movie was made in 2008, your behind had held up admirably well, Mr. Goldblum.

Goldbluminess: 4/10

He’s not playing a Jeff Goldblum Character. He’s got a German accent and the only time he’s allowed to be Sexy-Flippant With Crazy Eyes is in flashbacks.